Be Brilliant

Fwd: NJ -- 12th State to Offer In-state Tuition?

2010-01-07T00:20:00.000-08:00

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: DREAM ACT Now! - United We Dream Network <no-reply@causes.com>
Date: Thu, Jan 7, 2010 at 3:00 AM
Subject: NJ -- 12th State to Offer In-state Tuition?
To: reyes40@gmail.com

DREAM ACT Now! - United We Dream Network Bulletin

Posted by Mohammad Abd

Thank you for reading!
Help the cause:

I Read This

I have great news, New Jersey is on the brink of becoming the 12th state to offer in-state tuition for undocumented students. There is a very small window for this to happen, the current governor, Corzine, has promised to sign the bill if it comes across his desk, however he will be leaving office on January 19th. The new governor will not sign this bill, this is our only opportunity to win in-state tuition for NJ students!

The bill (S #1036) will be voted on in the state Senate TODAY at 2:00pm. If the bill passes it will then go to the assembly and most likely become law.

If the senators do not hear from you they will not support this bill and it will fail. Call right now, leave a message of support with the listed state senators, urge them to support this bill.

The anti-immigrant forces have sent a similar E-mail to all of their lists urging their members to call our Senators against this bill. Are we going to let them beat us again?

List of targets can be found here: http://www.dreamactivist.org/njtuition/

Your script:

"Hi My name is ________. I am calling to please ask the senator to vote in favor of the In State Tuition Act (S1036). This act will create a more educated workforce for NJ. [insert other talking points]. Thank you!"

Talking points:

* In-State Tuition is critical for immigrant youth to access higher education.
* The report recently released by the State Legislative Affairs says providing resident tuition for undocumented high school graduates will not cost the State of NJ any money.
* In-State Tuition is not a public benefit, it's a way for immigrant youth who have been in NJ for most of their lives to pay more affordable college tuition. They will have to have attended three years of high school in NJ.
* Educating our children and young people will be beneficial for the State of NJ and everyone.

Phone numbers and more information on the action is here: http://www.dreamactivist.org/njtuition/

Our phone calls are the only thing standing in the way of this bill passing, take a moment to make some calls.

We need to make sure our Senators know that New Jersey supports Senate Bill 1036. Remember, this bill is being voted on at 2:00 pm, today. Please forward this email to your friends and families, together we can win this.

Lets start 2010 with a big win!

Thanks,

Mohammad
Organizing Committee Co-chair
United We Dream Network
Co-founder of Dreamactivist.org
800.596.7498

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Elizabeth Reyes wants to keep up with you on Twitter

2009-09-02T14:51:00.001-07:00

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2009-02-16T14:09:00.000-08:00

Dear You,

There is something about the ease of this that makes me want to scream. It's like all the drama I've experienced, all the questions I'd asked, you've cleared away and answered. I am no longer a hopeless romantic. I no longer dream of prince charming, while stuck in my tower. I am just a girl who likes a man that doesn't make things difficult. I like the ease of crawling into bed with you. I like the ease of holding you and being held. I like the ease of sleep. Hours upon hours drift past us in our bubble; Seconds and minutes all relative, they belong to us and they're endless. Our hours of conversation via phone or text make me feel welcome and important. I haven't asked you for anything and yet you've made me believe, that some how somewhere there can be genuine patience, there can be genuine affection, that not everything comes with strings and sticky explainations. I believe things can be easy. That conversations can be meaningful and sometimes completely foolish, but lovely. I believe that quiet isn't bad, and that time apart makes the heart fonder, but time together solidifies that bond. You make me believe that I am completely and utterly sane,and that it was never me, but the way I collided with them. We mesh. We blend together like two prime colors that make something new, we are bright and bold and daring, and I won't ask for more, because this is good.

Randomoscity

2009-01-17T16:00:00.000-08:00

What does it taste like to devour a soul?
Can sticking your finger in a heart make it burn?
I'll tell you what I do know... Stars taste like butterscotch sprinkled with crack; and specks of cocaine are what really dissolve on my tongue during the longest winter day. I pray falling head over heels doesn't hurt as much as it sounds. Flavored heartache should be marketed to the masses and sold as the newest diet craze, and Sadomasochists United can replace Prozac. Injecting yourself with happiness burns like a bitch. And Holding your breath to save energy isn't a good idea. I can't help but believe that I have learned something from all this. Like, writing with fire isn't as hard as you think, and hailing a cab with your crotch is legal in three out of five boroughs. I'm a disgruntled member of society that can now truly express her concern, and beneath it all there's just a charred heart cooked extra crispy and yearning to feel the first cut.

Because I haven't written anything since September...

2009-01-17T15:20:00.000-08:00

08' was a long and wonderful year. I've been a Teacher, A lover, a gypsy, a new friend, an ex-friend, a hostess, a dog owner, a wanted guest, and unwanted guest, an aunt, a sister, Best friend, Friend, and / then Aqcuaintance. I've been a dreamer, a downer, distant, too close. I've been here, and there. I've been everywhere. I've been up and down, and all around. I've been loved. I've been hated. (Sometimes by the same person.)I've been lost. I've been found. I've been turned upside down. I've been irriate, annoyed, flabbergasted and sorry. I've regreted. I've doubted. I've hoped. I've prayed. I've gotten closer to God. I've cried. I've laughed. I've been addicted. I've been saved. I've loved. I've lost. I've talked too much. I've said too little. I've cared. I've wanted.I've lusted. I've challenged. I've suffered. I've pushed. I've taken. I've given. I've drowned in self pitty. I've lived in and loved misery. I've been a masocist. I've been selfish. I've been a shoulder to cry on. I've been the go to gal. I've strived. I've succeeded. I've failed, fallen, rolled down the hill, stood up, tripped, and still gotten back up. I've missed people. I've lost people. I've met people. I've smiled and laughed bigger and harder than in all of my days before. I've been happy. I've acheived goals. I've faced the mirror. I've hated what I've seen. I've changed. I've regressed. I've moved forward. I've made desicions. And if nothing else... I've grown.

The run around

2008-09-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

"You're a pistol." you said. Then why is it that you blow me away? It's things like, when you say you do, but then you don't. Or when you won't step up. I wind up dancing alone and when there's no where to go I can't likely turn to you, the wind, that thing that changes me with each inhaling of it's silent sustenance.The thing I change with every breath I discard. You take my breath away. I wish I could make you materialize be a man sometime, make this a fairytale like finding the colors of the wind kissing them and causing you to wake from a deep uninterrupted sleep, and making you a real man. But you evade me and it makes me hurt, not want you. I just hoped we would BE one day but it seems it can't be that way. So for now, maybe forever, (depending on what love has in store) I'll carry my head strong on my shoulders, and wish to not love you anymore. It won't hurt when I've forgotten, like labor pains of the heart. I'll have lived on to other heart breaks, and this will be a fading scar.

--updated 1/17/2009

The sound you hear when you knock on something Hollow

2007-07-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

The hallways are empty.
The sounds of shoes coming down heavily on to the ground,
and heels clicking so loudly you can hear them from a mile,
are drowned out by the inevitable silence of summer.

The bell no longer tolls since I'm not there to hear it
on every half hour as it judges my lateness.

A month of solitude, and a lack of solidarity, and I'm feeling turned around, I'm supposed to be so far from where I am, yet somehow it's like I'm supposed to just raise a flag, give up, end it before it begins.

I can't help to feel somewhat like a failure, seeing as none of my plans have come to fruition and I'm
Fiscally disabled by the raw green some can afford to burn and smoke, and that I can only think of, though with nothing more than a glimmer of hope
that comes from a life time of dreaming.

Well my dreams are dead. I'm no longer able to imagine a world where I am not a slave to my own desires, where I am not burdened with insecurities and my own self ridicule, my dreams have died and there is no resurrection in sight.

Lay With Me, and Just Forget the world

2006-12-08T18:26:00.000-08:00

by Elizabeth Reyes

He came inside me just as my body shook with completion. His soft lips pressed against my forehead then he turned on his side and faced me. I stood in the same position; one leg collapsed onto its side the other pointing me in the direction of heaven. I stared up at the bright spot that came in through the blinds. It was the garden light that Jeffrey must have tripped on his way in. Three in the morning again. I just hoped he wouldn’t knock on the room door with the loud obnoxious clanging of one of his double-fisted hands. I could hear the sound of his boots hitting the hard wood floor as he entered the space downstairs. Then a bang. He must have fallen. I thought twice before turning onto my side to face Ryan. His eyes were shut but he wasn’t sleeping. The bathroom door slammed shut. Rebecca must have woken up to pee again, as she often did. Her loud forced piss could be heard splashing on the seat. She was worse than all the male roommates in the house. Ryan seemed to ignore it. What did he care; it wasn’t his week to clean.
His heavy breaths made my heartbeat, my clit beat, my head beat, and all other beats going on at once. I leaned all of my weight onto my elbow and stuck my nose into the small space between his shoulder and cheek and pulled in the sweet stench of male sweat mixed with female sweat and all the other combinations that lingered on his body. Mmm… he smelled so good. He smelled like my mouth so I kissed him. With his eyes still shut his arms came at me abruptly. Jeffrey was throwing up again.
His gagging came up through the cracks in the floor. Ryan still held me. I broke away and tore my robe off the closet doorknob. When I opened the door David was already at the door about to knock. I cut him a short look and pushed past him and down the stairs. Jeffrey was lying faced down on the antique carpet my grandmother had given me when I moved in. David followed, and Ryan followed him. They knew the routine. Jeffrey was carried into my bedroom in the adjacent room, and wiped off by Jessie who walked in while Jeffrey was in mid-air. I cleaned the carpet, and then turned back without a second glance at Jeffrey or David or Jessie and I reached the top landing to find Rebecca coming at me with a fierce look in her eyes.

“ I need to sleep. Do you know what time it is? I can’t believe I live in this house. It’s always the same shit!”

I walked past her and into Ryan’s room, closing the door on her last word.
The walls in Ryan’s room were covered with memorabilia from his favorite sports teams and event’s and pictures of other lives he’s left behind. I see myself in a frame holding blue cotton candy to my open mouth while leaning on his chest as he bites into a corn dog. We made love that night for the first time.
After our bodies had exhausted themselves we collapsed onto each other and for the first time in my life I slept completely naked. He held me the entire night. It was uncomfortable at first but by morning. I didn’t want him to let me go.
I took off my robe and looked at my reflection across the room. The mirror on his dresser was partially framed with business cards, and wallet sized photos, so that my body was surrounded by many of his memories. I knelt on the bed, sitting with my legs folded under me.
Ryan entered the room with a whatcha-gonna-do look on his face. He raised his hands in the air with a silent scream followed by a small laugh, then climbed into bed with me. I disrobed him and kissed the flesh between his fore arm and bicep, that soft piece of skin that’s too often neglected, and he knelt on the bed fully exposed in front of me. I saw every line, every cut, and every scar. I kissed every single one of them to show them they are loved.
I got a rise out of him and he pushed my shoulder’s back. I landed in an awkward position; my legs still folded under me, and my shoulders against the pillows. “You’re flexible,” he said with a smirk, while he adjusted me right were he wanted me.
The noises in the house ceased at a quarter to four and even then Ryan and I were still holding, and touching, and exhaling all over each other. Nothing would interrupt us I wouldn’t have it.
The house kept quiet until the mid-morning hours when people began to wake for work, jogging, or miscellaneous chores. During that time I lay in his arms and dreamt of living on my own with Ryan, and the peace I would feel. Then I imagined if I could concentrate on him through all the interruptions and commotion, I couldn’t begin to imagine the levels of pleasure we could reach in complete silence and in tune with one another.
I fell asleep to the memory of cotton candy and the innocence of lying in my love’s arms. The afternoon rolled in and out through the shades but only once did I wake to look up at Ryan, and then everything was quiet except the rhythmic pulsing of his heart against my ears.

A Woman. A Man. And a Non-relationship.

2006-11-10T20:13:00.000-08:00

(Woman stands stage left across from a man on stage right. There is a table with two seats and a jacket on the seat nearest to her. He is holding his coat in hand.)

Stop. Ok? Just stop. I don't want to hear it anymore. (She turns to face the audience.)
Because it's a waste of my time. Because everything you've said to me has been a lie. I don't need you to lie to me. I don't even need you to stand there. Go. Turn around and leave because you're not needed. You're useless. (She turns her back on him.) Everytime I saw you, you made me feel... I don't know.. You made me feel.. Hopeful. You are lost to me. You are nothing to me. You are.. (Turnst to face him.)the unforgiven. (He opens his mouth to speak. She raises her hands toward his face, and he backs up a bit. She does not intend to hit him, but quiet him.) Don't even waste your breath. (Pause) Go on. Find your way Out, I won't be holding your hand through this.
(She speaks slowly and stern, pointing into her chest.)
I am a woman. A woman Anthony. A woman that feels, bruises, and bleeds. I cry too. I hurt too. (She begins to speak very quickly.) You wouldn't know. Why would you? It's not in your reflection, there isn't any need for you to care. You're self absorbed. You are a narcisist. You are unforgiven. Go on. Turn around. Why haven't you left yet. (She turns and faces the audience. And speaks slower.) Don't worry I'll run out of words soon, and then, you'll be free. Free from me. Free from my "wounding words". Forgiven by yourself but never by me. You'll forget we ever had this conversation, I know. But I can't bleed for you anymore. I can't hurt for you anymore.(She faces him, and walks a bit closer to him.) My heart hurts Anthony. My heart hurts. Seeing you. Seeing you with her. It was a shock. I didn't know what to feel. (She touches her lips.)I wasn't feeling your lips right then. (She touches his hand. He holds hers.)I wasn't pressed against your fingertips at all. I was alone (She pauses for a moment watching their hands part). (She turns her back on him and grabs the back of the chair closest to her.)My back was to the wall and I had no where to run. I felt nothing. Anthony I felt nothing. At that moment I was completely forgotten by you; Ignored. And now, now what? Now what do I do? What, you don't listen? Haven't you heard. I've been shouting it at you all this time. JUST GO!... You won't leave? You won't walk out. You won't turn away. You already have, why is this anymore difficult? Just.. just... forget it.(She grabs the coat off the back of the seat and folds it over her forearm) Forget me. Look away. Blink so when you open your eyes I'll be gone. Out of your life. Erase me. I don't exsist. I won't exsist to you. "When you see me walking down the street.. just WALK ON BY" because I won't know you. I never knew you. So just leave. If you won't, fine. Just blink.
(She turns to begin exitting.Freeze. Lights fade to black.)

Unlikely. Unattainable.

2006-11-10T16:44:00.000-08:00

Hug me like there will be no tomorrow.

Let me feel your jadded cheeks to my soft face.

Whisper in my ear over the loud of the day.

Look into my eyes and let me know it's the way.

Don't lose me shifting through the crowd.

Let me know, but don't let me down.

Carry my kisses on your lips "forever".

Make "Forever" longer than the change of weather.

Action can silence a Nation but Words can provoke Actions.

2006-11-02T16:00:00.000-08:00

I am absolutely exhausted. I'm worn out by the state in which our government is in. I'm stressed about even the faintest possibility of facing Racism. I'm discouraged by the power given to professors, and the possibility of the abuse of that power. I am worried for my future, in a world focused primarily on using bandades and not cures. Im concerned about living in a world that tries to convince us everything is fine, by broadcasting T.v. shows that are literally detramental to our psyche. I am worried about our choices in the matter of living free, and at what cost that freedom comes. I am Mad. I am Angry. I am consumed with Rage. I will not hold my tongue any longer. I will not keep those who question me, from knowing who I really am. I am, who I say I am. I write what I say I write. My influences are no greater than any one elses, and still I am capable of much more than I am given credit for. I won't question why just yet. I'll just stand, prepared to face any challenge head on.

NETWORK (Circa 1976)

Howard Beale:
I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's work, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. [shouting] You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, Goddamnit! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell,
[shouting] 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!... You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it:
[screaming at the top of his lungs] "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

I Should Have Told You This a Long Time Ago

2006-09-15T16:06:00.000-07:00

...But words can't express all the mess you've caused
and so I move on with a battle scar above my brow
and a bruise across my chest. I must confess I didn't
suspect that you'd be the one who'd cause me such pain,
I was to blame for not putting you in your place from day one.
I was stunned to see your face beneath the mask that for so many years,
brought me.. far from tears,
it brought me joy,
something to wake to but you see
it's not the same now that I can see.
The shades are broken.
They've shattered into a million pieces and there is no way I can mend them,
I have been awakon, and if I had known it'd take this long I would stayed away.
You should fear me.
Look over your shoulder and quake a bit inside because
I will survive, scratch that, I have survived and there's nothing you can do
to ever bring me down, because the green in your eyes are of envy,
and the red of your lips full of the life you've taken from me.
I am me.
And no words can refute that, nothing you do can make me mad,
the words rolling off of your tongue are manufactured to cause pain,
like labor inducing pills
you've caused me to give birth to my own
ideal..sense..of self.
For that I thank you.

Park Slope circa 1994

2006-09-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

A Random Memory

The playground was filled with rainbow brite colors. Neon green's and pinks scattered around in funky designs. It was 4th grade for me. I remember because that was the year I had my first male teacher, and some how I felt uncomfortable about it most of the year. But anytime before then, I felt as if it were wrong to have a man as a teacher, to me it was unheard of! But I stuck with it, learning information that I would likely forget in the preceeding three or four years, when boys would become more prominent figures in my life, when talks of music videos and how large my hoop earings could be at that age, were more likely than talks of anything that mattered.
I remember wanting a new book bag, and asking my mother for it everyday, and hearing no everyday. The forty dollar bookbag I wanted was nothing special but was likely to cause more trouble than it was worth. My Columbia jacket was a feucha color I hated but it was the coolest jacket to owne, and for that reason (and it's price) I wore it (correction: was forced to wear it) for about three years afterwards (and by afterwards I mean after the columbia jacket fad was out and I looked like an ass for still rockin' it) but nobody every said a thing to me (TO ME... I don't know about behind my back.)
There was a day we were all outside playing dodgeball, and a friend of mine was in a corner of the playground talking to her "boyfriend" (the one I had married her to in an informal ceremony in kindergarden.) During a break I was walking over to her when suddenly another kid reached for her boyfriend and pulled him forward, bringing his face not much farther than his own. A moment later a fight was breaking out, between the boyfriend, the bully, and a bunch of the bully's friends. By the end of it all, the boyfriend was on the floor, bleeding, and embarassed. And the bully walked away with a mint condition forty dollar Jansport book bag. The kind that had the little beaded thread that when you opened had another inside that you could wear as a bracelette. The kind that parents no longer wanted to buy, for fear their kids would get robbed. The kind that got so many kids jumped they were practically banned in my elementary school.
There was so much fear during that time. My mother picked me up from school everyday even in the first year of junior high. I don't blame her. On every corner there was another gang trying to recruit the innocent, the hurt, and the insecure. I honestly don't know how I made it out of there as well as I did. I'm suprised so many of the horrible things I witnessed didn't happen to me. I thank God for it, because even today I say I've been sheltered from the horrific accurances in life. (Don't get me wrong I've had my share of misfortune, trust me on that, but when compared to the things I've seen, I've lived in a bubble.)
When I go home and compare what it is now to what it was 12 or 15 years ago I am amazed at the change.

Me Hacen Falta...

2006-09-08T16:09:00.000-07:00

I've been up here in New Paltz for about 2 months now (it feels like much longer) and I haven't really had a chance to head down to Brooklyn and see the fam. I miss them. I hate to admit it because I'm ...well Me and if you know me you know what that means, but I do. I especially miss my nephews (well mostly the ones I've helped raise!!)If you don't know, Joel Marcus is 3 years old (he'll be four in march) and Andrew is 8 (he'll be nine in february). I love these kids as if they were my own and as little patience as I often have, they still love me. Everyday these past couple of weeks I've wanted to speak to them. Last time I did, Andrew was "JACK" in "Jack and The Bean Stalk" How cool is that?? He got the lead role! and apparantly he did a really good job. (I'm so proud.) So, I'm home sick and I want to see my sister and mom who have been nothing short of amazing with me the last few months, as hard as they were on all of us. I love them so much I can barely stand it. I think it's true, distance makes the heart grow fonder. That cliche has never felt so real.

In other news...

2006-09-02T15:51:00.000-07:00

So the first week of my "Semi-senior year" has just passed. We have welcomed 5 new girls to our suite and each one is more different then the next. I should add that different is not a negative term, just an observative one. Like I mentioned in another entry, 3 of them are from a foreign countries, each one of them very nice (although our schedules only permit us a small amount of time to get to know eachother. With the little time we have some people would tell "why bother?" but we want to know them better. The other two young ladies that have joined the suite, are freshmen. Their first week was probably a little difficult to get used to and stressful as well, but we're hoping that soon things will become more comfortable for them. They are also really great girls, and I'm happy to have them here.

Now it's all about getting used to our new classes, our new schedules, and our new roommates.

Till later!

Lizz

Speaking from my ID

2006-08-30T17:58:00.000-07:00

(some random sht I wrote.)
I want.

I've wanted all my life and I've always gotten.
It's never been handed to me, or wrapped up in gold.
I've never found it on the ground as I've taken a stroll.
I've felt the struggle from behind my own walls.
I've been dragged through the mud, slapped in the face, and shoved down to the ground and still I stand.
Now here I am again, pushing off the ground with all my might and every part of me yelling to stop the pain, but I continue to face each day.

I want.

The want is raw, and strong, and thriving and everyday it grows.
Its the feeling inside my stomach when I'm just out of reach.
It's the feeling in my heart when I just can't see.
It's the strain in my legs when I yearn to run, and be free.

I want, like breathing in a scent so sweet it fills me, clings to me, and reminds me forever afterwards.
I want, like closing my eyes and feeling cold water with my fingertips and knowing I'm alive.

I want the way love gives you strength you didn't know, the way life makes you think, the way friends make you smile.
I want to hear your heart beat while we stand. I want to touch your fingertips to mine. I want you to hold my hand.

My Secrets?

2006-08-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

"I miss you more than words can describe, and I don't even know you."

"I get home sick when I'm home."

"Sometimes I stare out the window and wonder what heavens like. Then when I realize what I'm staring at, I remember what the chances of heaven existing are."

"I believe that cherries have human qualities: They have skin. When they're pricked they bleed. And in the center of themselves they have the ability to create."

Back in action!

2006-08-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Well I'm back in SNP, same dorm same room (come visit whenev... you know, if we cool like that!)
So this semester we start out as 3. It's Sherrie, Rachel (my roommate), and myself. What does this mean? Well I'll tell you! It means that 5, (count'em 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) new girls will be moving in.

Last night at about 9 we welcomed 2 girls in. One is from Holland, and the other from Spain. Both very nice, as far as I can tell. Then, at about midnight, one more entered. She is from France. We didn't really talk yet, so I can't tell whats up.
3 down 2 more to go. We believe we will be welcoming 2 freshmen into one of the rooms, and we hope we're all like pieces of the same puzzle!

I must admit we're all wondering what the outcome of this new mix will be, especially since we had such an amzing year with the girls of (what i will now call) The Original G13!

We'll see how it goes! I'll keep you posted.

Kisses,

Lizz

La Mujer Ideal

2006-08-20T13:28:00.000-07:00

The sun wakes me with tender kisses on my eyes, then my cheeks and my lips soon follow. It covers me in it's warmth, inch by inch until my entire body is engulfed in it's serenity.

I find my way to the bathroom, lured in by the promise of cool water on my damp summer night skin. The sound of men's sweat slipping and muscles tightening and turning the nuts and bolts of the sinks pipes, is the only other sound heard other than my fingers tapping it's sides impatiently. The water flows cool at first and then luke warm. Just right. It's streaks and drops cling to my face and promise to never leave me, but I can't commit. I look into the mirror and see how much they resemble tears and think "I wonder what's the secret that water keeps from me." I wipe them off, one by one at first and then all the rest because I can't stand to see them so alone. And there I am. Rosey cheeked and glowing, the sun still kissing me from a distance. I look at myself intently and wonder who is the ideal woman?

Is it me? My kindness a pot of gold I carry to offer him, along with endless days and nights of wide-eyed looks to make him wonder what I'm thinking? Or Could the way I love be ideal to him. My honesty as a perk instead of a burden? Could he find me wonderful to talk to and feel comfortable to hold? Or can it be her? She who dances with such passion,and sings with so much flare. Can it be her perfect smile or her long beautiful hair? Will he find her small hands perfect, can he see past her eyes? Can she be the one that completely takes him by suprise?
Or is it her, the one who walks away, everytime he comes around. The one that holds her hand out, only when he pulls her out. CAn she be the one to get his attention, making him wonder why she's so distant? Or will her uncertainty be a turn off because he needs to know right then?

Each woman has such qualities men don't realize they have such a gift. Each woman is a gift, covered in pearls of wisdom and jewels of beauty. Any choice he makes is right, because each and every one of them will stand by his side.

It simply depends on which gift is meant for him.

It's that time again...

2006-08-20T13:06:00.000-07:00

So school's about to start and I'm feeling like..."Bring it!" I am more than ready. My only real concern is bringing all my stuff up from BK. How will I pull that one off is the question. I have a fridge and some other things that need to be brought up, and I'm tired of bothering my friends!

Sigh... Which brings me to the number one thought on my mind. I need a car. Better yet, I need a license so I can invest in a decent car. It doesnt have to be my dream car, it doesnt have to be new, it doesnt even have to be pretty. But it does have to run safely and make minimal noise! And of course fit enough folks in it too! That would make my life so much easier. But until then... I walk, and wonder... How am I gonna bring all my shit up here!!!

Till next time!

FAE

Bored at 3 Am... Damn naps!

2006-08-18T00:41:00.000-07:00

Create your own friendquiz here

"Loveable Attitude"

2006-08-13T00:07:00.000-07:00

Only 3 feet tall and he's got us wrapped around little fingers. He runs up and down trying not to fall and yet he's got us all amazed. "Dame besito" I'll tell him and he grabs my face, looks at me and says, "No!" then runs away. I'll sit all alone, and/ or talking on the phone and he'll quickly jump up and give 'besitos' on my face. I love his loveable attitude.

It's been about a month and I'm walking up the stairs, I open the door and he jumps out of his seat to greet me. His favorite show is on t.v. and I know I mean alot to him with his loveable attitude he tries to help me bring my bags in.

His brother calls him names and asks him to move out of the way, but instead he kicks his shins and runs into the other room. When his brother cries, he runs to kiss his 'booboo'.

I love him because he is an independant soul, just like 'Titi'. He runs around dancing and singing and so full of life. I watch him try to break dance like all the other little boys and as worn out as I am I still find the strength to steal a hug (while lifitng him off the dirty floor).

God I love this boy!

That Man's Got Game

2006-08-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

He's the type of man that makes you look twice when he walks bye.
He makes you listen when he speaks.
He holds your gaze when he smiles.
He's the type of man that pulls you in when he hugs.
He makes you laugh when it's the furthest thing from your mind.
But, that man's emotions are like writings made on sand,
there one minute and the other minute...

Time To Shed The Armor

2006-08-10T05:32:00.000-07:00

I wasn't prepared for you, I wasn't ready for the power you held over me.
I saw peace in your eyes and heard war in your voice and every day I loved you more.
Even with each day that passed, as the distance grew, as the summer days turned into winter nights, I couldn't love anyone but you.

The sun had set and the moon had risen in an endless pattern for years. The sun brought thoughts of lovers holding hands through the park. The moon brought to mind warm kisses on my forehead and the strong embrace that followed. There were years of replaying memories on the back of my mind like projections reeling off a vintage video.

I could sit for hours watching us.

~~~

Heartbreak came sudden,

like a blow to the back of the head. The peaceful memories became jumbled and confusing. Now there were other moments I could remember. Her. Them. Lies.

But I'd let those go! Or, so I thought.

Why couldn't you let me live in my lie?
Why couldn't you let me have the satisfaction of believing that you loved me?

I could have died not knowing your true feelings and then I would have gone without a single regret.
(Now my only regret was ever loving you.)
The moment the words shot out of your mouth taking back everything I'd ever believed,
I died inside for the second time because of you.

After the massacre of my innocence I couldn't be unprepared again.
I built walls like the Chinese.
I built army's like the Greeks.
I wore armor like a soldier or a knight.
I watched quietly from my mountain.
And every time I'd say your name I'd make sure to bite my tongue,
because that small pain was nothing compared to what you'd made me feel.

Several years have passed since then, and I've sworn that I'm ok. I've promised myself that I am over you. I've convinced myself I'm not bitter but all the while wearing my armor of steel.

But tonight I take my life back. Tonight I take the power that you stole from me.

At this very moment I am removing my armor.

I will not be weighed down by you any more.

To My Children

2006-08-10T00:24:00.000-07:00

If I had one piece of advice to leave my children it would be to dream. Dream BIG! I would encourage them to dream to be what ever they choose to be, whether it be a Fire fighter or Fighting social injustice I'd say DREAM.

I would tell them to dream with their eyes open to open their hearts and dream like it was all they could do because it is all we can do. I would hold them to my chest and tell them that their dreams should be as large as this planet but better. I would tell them their dreams should be solid as rocks, but stronger. I would tell them that their hearts should be in each dream thats born in their minds and finds its way to their hearts.

I would tell the little girl if she wants to dance to be as honored as a Prima ballarina!
I would tell the little boy if he wants to sing to be as loved as Andrea Bonicelli!

I would tell them to fight for ever bit of the dream they choose and use it to get as far up as they can.
But if one day the dream no longer makes them Happy, then I'd say to find another dream that will. And all the while their dreaming of careers and families and loves and life and all the great things that are possible, I would tell them that while they dream with their eyes open they should be FEARLESS.

Fear no one and nothing that gets in your way. Have no fear of uncertainties and be sure in what you have. Do not fear pushing yourself and do not question life's motives, just live for your dream* and love every moment you fullfil it.

*Just keep in mind there are people in your life, and sometimes dreams can change to accomodate an even greater dream, different, but just as big.

ThatGirlNamedFae

My Favorite Memory

2006-08-08T14:36:00.000-07:00

I was nine years old and once again staring at the filthy ocean at Rockaway Beach.
Standing there the world seemed so big at a height of 4'11". Before this day there had been several other semi-family outings to this large piss hole, but this day was different. I must have weighed less than a hundred pounds which was evident in the rainbow colored bikini I wore that day, it's small bra like straps tied together to keep them from slipping off and exposing my "lemonsillos".

I stood transfixed by the large waves and the sour smell in the air. My cousins and sister running back and forth from the water to the large red sheet on the open space just past the boardwalk. My cousin Nena drinking welches soda and eating sandy Kentucky fried chicken, the traditional meal for our summer beach days. My sister Bibi and my other cousin Erin running and jumping through the water and over the waves. Both of them diving in and out of the water like dolphins. I watched from the invisible line where it could barely reached my feet.

I loved the water and finally decided to run in full force, wanting nothing more than to feel the cool of the water on my dark skin. I prepared myself allowing my small toes to press into the moist sand that felt like a cool sponge beneath me. All of my body weight alternating from one leg to the other from one foot to the other and finally diving into the salty sea.
I was a fish. The slight sunburn on my freckled face was extinguished beneath the blanket of cool waves. I tried to open my eyes but I was more affraid of what I'd see than of how it would irritate me. I could hear Bibi and Erin yelling for my attention so I allowed my body to float above and pushed my head above the water. I could see the girls not too far away but as I paddled my way over I felt less and less of the sea floor beneath me. More and more pressure began to push me beneath the water and I suddenly felt completly out of control.

The girls forgot about me and wandered out of my reach. By then a large wave was approaching and my small limbs were struggling to reach the surface. I was engulfed beneath the layers of salt, sea weed and sand. The last breath I pulled into my lungs was running out and I finally reached my purple fingernails out of the water. My head soon followed and I could see the sun again just as I took another shallow breath. I couldn't fill my lungs, i couldn't take a full breath and as the thought frantically filled my head another wave smaller than the last but just as powerful, was ready to break, rushing over me. The entire time that I struggled with the water I felt as if I could reach my hand out and there was something that kept me from falling. But this time there was nothing i could reach out for, and there was absolutley nothing that I could hold on to. By the time the last wave shoved me under, my legs were turned above my head. The blood was rushing to my head and it all was becoming slower and slower.

I couldnt let the water take me. I couldnt let this be the last place I go. I'll fight "fire with fire" was my original thought. But I wasn't fighting with fire, I was fighting with my own element. I kicked my feet like a mad child, I rushed my body against the current and finally broke through from beneath the feeling of helplessness and uncertainty. My nose came first and then my lips followed parting so quickly they allowed some of the filthy water to enter my mouth. I swallowed it quickly and took a deep breath allowing the air to pierce through the knot in my throat and fill my lungs again.

Needless to say I didnt go into the water for a while after, about an hour actually. At first I thought it would be the last thing I'd ever do again but that wouldn't be fair to me. I love the water, I love being free beneath it, and one time that I felt lost in it wouldn't take away from the many years that I had found pleasure in its deep and tranquil body.

The reason it's my favorite memory? I learned something about myself that I didnt know then would help me in the future. I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for, and no matter how hard life gets I know I will always believe and trust that I love life and its worth every hit I take, because there are always a hundred good reasons to the one bad.

hmmm.. I guess I am an optimist after all.

ThisGirlNamedFae

Si Cojerias Dos Pasos Atras

2006-08-07T16:47:00.000-07:00

Te he buscado por todo el lado y hasta ahora no te he encontrado.
Te he creado en mis suenos mas intimos y todavia haci no has llegado.
Habia el dia que tu me buscabas y ahora soy yo la que sigo tus pasos.
Pero en tanto tiempo que tu no has estado se que por heso ya te has olvidado. ***

***Forgive me if my sp is horrible.

Like Poetry To My Soul

2006-08-06T22:19:00.000-07:00

I haven't written a "Good-enough" poem in a very long time. I feel like my muse has been on vacation. But we all know that when life is taking its toll on you, it's even harder to stay focused on the things that make you happy.

Here is my attempt...ok no more Disclaimer!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each and every time I see your face I see the struggle that is independance.
Every single time I hear your voice, it sounds like the opitomy of man.
....

Yuck! I don't like it.. ok lets try agaiiin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten fingers on a hand no bigger than my thumb,
and a Mouth as small as the wink of an Eye.
Ten toes on feet as soft as brushed cotten
on legs that are pudgy and Dimpled at the knees.
A body made for Kissing, with the Scent of sweet
honey Melon on a Scalp with scarce hair.
And a Quesion mark that stands between
what Life is or what Life could be.

That's the best I can do right now, its like 2 a.m. leave me be. ;-)

ThisGirlFae

Oblivious

2006-08-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

I think that I am blind.
Honestly, blind.
Blind in the way that my Eyes are capable of seeing
but my heart wears a blind fold, sheilding its self from what could be.
The possibilities that present themeselves
are completely ignored by my vulnerable beating-being.

I want... NO.

I need it to be less affraid of what it could see.
I need it to be open to the endless possibilities that stand before it.
I need it to let me live without second guessing myself.

But right now, I feel I am still blind, only allowing a peek beneath the blinds
for a moment and in that moment I am able to realize where I've gone wrong
I see what I couldn't see, and now is too late to attain.
Then the blinds are back on because of fear that those things that slipped past
were the only ones within my reach and now are gone.

But the truth is there is so much to see and hiding behind my own cowardace is truely the saddest tale ever lived.

My relation to relationships

2006-06-19T21:21:00.000-07:00

In 21 years I've lived, loved, and lost. I've lived happy memories like, making my first friend in pre-school, and long summer days at Rockaway beach at age 9. I lived many traditional ceramonies, graduations, babtisms, weddings, and funerals. I've lived with mistrust, honor and deciet around me. I've been faced with challenges from wanting to YELL AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, at my mother, to wanting to cry because I don't dare to. I've lived to learn. I've learned that people matter, and although you don't live for them, you live with them and the only way to truely be happy is to find a place where you are comfortable with the people around you.

I've loved, like loving a dog, or family pet, loving the dentist because he gives you lollipops, loving your family because its what you're "supposed" to do, loving a boy because he understood you. I've loved like, loving a woman because she makes you smile, when you feel the only thing you can do is cry. I've loved like, loving several women and learning how to distinguish a lie from the truth, and a hug from a stab in the back. I've loved several men, for knowing when to leave me alone, and knowing when not to. I've learned to love friends, like the family you choose.

Loss. I've lost alot. Probably because our minds remember more of the negative than the positive things that happen to us but, I've definetly lost. I've lost friends over time. I've lost love, I've lost knowledge, I've lost faith. Sometimes I've thought I lost my mind, but really I'd just lost my sense of self. My sense of reality, and my loyalty. Somewhere along the line, I changed. I became a woman, self serving on many levels, but faithful, trustworthy and caring. I've lost a lot of things in my life but I have never lost what makes me who I am.

I am Lizz. Lizz who wants so much but calls it a little. The Lizz who keeps very few people close because too many times I've been betrayed. The Lizz who loves her kids more than words could really describe, and because of that maybe has lost some of the effect. The Lizz who wants the best for everyone, and hopes her "sabache" will keep her safe from people that don't want good things for her. The Lizz who dreams. The Lizz who wants. The Lizz who is. The Writer, The Dancer, The Movie Maker, The Dream Chaser, The Lover, The Friend, The Sister, The Aunt, The Cousin, The Person.

I have lived 21 years of what I would call an amazing life. In the first 2 years of my life more happend to me than some people experience in a lifetime. But I would not change it for the world. I would not ask for something to be different in my past, because that would be like asking to be a different person.

I love the life I live, and I only pray that 20 years from now I can look back and say that those years have been even better to me.

Ode To Thursday Night

2006-04-20T10:26:00.000-07:00

"Today carries the only moment that is certain and for that reason we should live wildly. We should all live as if life were truly a free experience of mixed emotions and wonderment, and in doing so, live it completely and utterly uninhibited. Tonight is not promised but, hope that the evening will bring you what you most desire and if that desire warrants a drive then that moment will live on forever as a wish may come true before your very eyes. "